


Really Really Really Wanna (Zigazag Ha!)

by orphan_account



Series: Spice Up Your Life [2]
Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Always the Opposite Sex, Bananas, Blow Jobs, F/M, Genderswap
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-03-06
Updated: 2012-03-06
Packaged: 2017-11-01 13:10:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,252
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/357157
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bobbi's adventures with bananas, and also with Getzy. Practice makes perfect?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Really Really Really Wanna (Zigazag Ha!)

**Author's Note:**

> the title comes from "wannabe" by the spice girls, because i love running jokes into the ground \o/

It's a spur-of-the-moment thing, really. Bobbi's at the grocery store for protein shakes and moisturizer and hair ties, and like every grocery store she's ever been in, the produce section is first. And bananas are on sale. She thinks it probably says something terrible about her that the second she sees them, she thinks of practicing blowjobs. Then again, she _is_ still a little sore from yesterday.

Bobbi grabs a bunch before she can think better of it and drops it in her basket. She fights down her blush, telling herself firmly that there are plenty of things she could want bananas for besides going down on them.

...Well, she can actually only think of one other use for bananas: eating them. But that's a perfectly good one!

She rushes through the rest of the store, and ends up having to apologize to the cashier and jog back to get the hair ties she went out for in the first place. He doesn't seem to mind, though, especially not when she offers to sign something for him.

Back at her apartment, Bobbi puts the bananas in a bowl on the counter and looks at them suspiciously. She's not sure why; it's not like they're going to jump out and bite her. The image makes her giggle: spring-loaded bananas with teeth! Sure, that could happen.

She looks around quickly to make sure the cats aren't looking, then checks the bananas for teeth, just in case. Yep, no teeth. Then she picks a ripe one and sits down at the counter, looking at it.

And, of course, Pears chooses that moment to come home. He looks at her with his usual just-landed-on-the-planet stare and asks, "Are you talking to the banana?"

"No!" Bobbi can feel herself blushing. "Jeez, no. I'm just... I'm gonna go to my room." She grabs the bowl and beats a hasty retreat to her bedroom. When she closes the door behind her, Bobbi realizes that maybe that wasn't the most normal reaction she's ever had, and now she's locked herself in her room with an entire bowl of bananas. Great.

Well, now it's pretty much her honor at stake. Bobbi takes a deep breath and starts peeling the banana. It's not very intimidating, so she shrugs to herself and pushes it straight back into her mouth –

– And gags. She runs for the trash can, but thank God, she manages not to puke. Okay, that banana's a loss.

Before she peels the next one, Bobbi decides to plan a little better. She's seen porn before, of course – spending so much of her life surrounded by guys makes that inevitable – but she oesn't think any of the stuff she has downloaded will help, so she's going to have to work from memory.

An image of a girl on her knees pops into Bobbi's mind, the one that made her want to try this in the first place. She has her head tipped back, looking at the guy's face. This time, Bobbi tilts her head back before sliding the banana into her mouth. She goes slowly, feeling the tip go past the back of her tongue. The flaps of peel hit her lips, where she decided it would be deep enough, and if Bobbi didn't have a banana halfway down her throat, she'd cheer.

It's hard to remember not to use teeth when it's food, but she's pretty sure that won't be a problem with a dick. She tries swallowing a little, then sucking – gently, so it won't break off, another banana-only problem – and moving it in and out. Not bad!

And then Bobbi hears the front door open. She freezes. _Please be Pears leaving,_ she prays.

"Hey, Pears, is Bobbi around?" Oh, hell, it's Getzy!

"She's in her room with a bowl of bananas," Pears says. "They're her friends now."

"...Okay," Getzy says after a moment. _Don't come in, don't come in, don't –_

The door opens. Bobbi stares at Getzy in horror. He stares back at her for a moment, then quick as a flash comes into her room and closes the door behind him. "Jesus _fuck_ , Bobbi," he breathes, and takes a step towards her.

Bobbi starts to say something, but the banana breaks off in her mouth, and she feels like she's choking. A strangled noise comes out of her, like her cats make when they see a bug they want to eat.

"Whoa, are you okay?" Getzy takes another step towards her, and Bobbi is suddenly, irrationally terrified that he's going to try to kiss her while she's choking to death. The only thing she can think of to do is dive away from him, into the closet, to finish swallowing.

In the dark behind her dresses and suits, Bobbi gets the mouthful of banana down and catches her breath, coughing a little. God, does she ever feel dumb. This is right up there with trying to kick Blum away from the puck with her skates on.

A triangle of light falls on her face, and Bobbi looks up. Getzy's pushed her old prom dress aside to find her. "Bobbi! Are you all right? Are you choking?"

"No," she says. "I'm just a dumbass."

Getzy holds out a hand, and she lets him pull her up. "At least you're a hot dumbass," he says, putting his arms around her. "Were you seriously deep-throating that banana?"

"...Maybe," Bobbi says. "Would you be into that?"

"Fuck yeah," Getzy says fervently.

"Can I try?"

Getzy cups her face in his hands and kisses her, hard, until she's breathless. "Only if you promise not to hide in the closet if you choke," he says. "Just pull off, don't go anywhere."

"I don't think your dick is going to break off in my mouth," Bobbi points out, trailing her fingers down Getzy's chest.

He laughs. "Oh my god, I hope not!"

"Because I didn't bite it," she continues. "Just so you know."

"You don't have to blow me," Getzy says. He wraps his hand around her ponytail and tugs to punctuate this.

"I want to," Bobbi insists. "I wasn't going down on a banana for the _banana's_ sake!"

That cracks Getzy up so hard that he has to sit down on Bobbi's bed. "Oh, oh my god," he says, clutching his sides. "Pears said – he said the bananas were your friends now! I guess they're your friends with _benefits!_ "

"Oh my _god_ ," Bobbi says. She sits down next to Getzy, giggling. "I'm going to kill both of you!"

"Hey, I'm not jealous," Getzy says. "If they start seeming like competition, I'll just eat them."

"You say that like you wouldn't just eat another _guy_ who seemed like competition."

"Hey! I'm reasonable," Getzy argues. The only good response to that is clearly tickling him, so that's what Bobbi does. Getzy squawks. "Oh, no, you don't!" He tickles back. Bobbi squeals with glee and struggles playfully, getting her legs around him.

After a few minutes, they're both breathing hard, and Getzy has her pinned. Bobbi pulls his face down to hers for a long, wet kiss, and rolls her hips up against his.

"Oh, you want to wrestle like _this ___, huh?" Getzy says, smiling so his teeth show.

"Yes, absolutely," Bobbi says, rocking her hips again and grabbing a handful of Getzy's ass.

"Good!" Getzy grinds down against her and tickles her up under her shirt, making her gasp. "You like that?"

"Yeah, I do!" She scrapes her teeth down his neck and pushes the waist of his pants down to get at his hips, where the skin is sensitive. 

He's gone from tickling her ribs to scrabbling at her bra. "C'mon, sit up, let me get this off you." He kneels up so he's straddling her hips and and pulls her up so he can peel off her Ducks T-shirt and sports bra.

Bobbi groans when the cool air hits her nipples, and again when Getzy cups her breasts in his hands and nuzzles them. "Getzy, oh my god," she says, holding his head while he kisses and bites her.

"Your tits are fantastic," Getzy says, not moving from between them.

"Thanks," Bobbi says. "Lie back, though, I really want to blow you."

"I'm not going to say no to _that_." Getzy lets her out from under him and leans back on his elbows while Bobbi squirms onto her stomach. "Should I take my pants off?"

"Unless you want me to try and suck your dick _through_ them," Bobbi says.

"Sassy!" But Getzy slides off his track pants and boxers, then, like an afterthought, pulls his T-shirt off over his head. Bobbi kind of likes how he's naked while she's still half-dressed. It makes him seem a little more... vulnerable, maybe. 

His dick is right there, hard already from their wrestling. Bobbi thinks it's probably weird that she's had it in her but hasn't really seen it up close yet, but then it's not like much about her life is normal. She runs a finger from the base up to the tip, making Getzy shiver.

"You don't have to," he says again, in a shaky voice, so Bobbi rolls her eyes and wraps her mouth around his dick. She doesn't go right for the deep-throat, just sort of gets used to the taste and feel of it.

Getzy makes some really great noises when she starts using her hand too – Bobbi memorizes them to tease him with later. It really is less weird going down on a guy than a banana. The feedback is pretty great, for one thing, and it's smoother and heavier on her tongue. She expected it to taste bad, but really, it just tastes like... Getzy.

"Oh, fuck," Getzy says when she manages to go all the way down. He strokes her face and tucks a lock of hair behind her ear, and she pets his thigh back to let him know she's good. "Bobbi, Bobbi," he says. "Wait, stop –"

Bobbi pulls off immediately. "What? Did I hurt you?"

"No, I – no, the opposite of that." Now Getzy's turning red. "I just – don't want to come yet."

Bobbi blinks. "Why not?" She kind of always wants to come.

Getzy laughs. "Guys have this thing called a refractory period, buddy. If I come now, it'll take me a while to get hard again."

"Oh, right, I knew that." She glances down at his dick, all shiny with her spit. "So, do you want to fuck me first?"

He sits up and grins at her, the wolfy sort of smile that made her realize how bad she wanted him in the first place. "Say please."

Bobbi looks up at him through her lashes and smiles back. "Make me."

"Make you?" he asks. Bobbi nods, feeling the blush rise in her cheeks. "Sure, I can do that." Getzy flashes her that smile again, then shoves her over onto her back.

Bobbi squeaks as her back hits the mattress. "Getzy!"

"Tell me if you don't like it," he says, then pulls her yoga pants and underwear down to her knees and starts kissing his way down her body. His tongue in her belly button makes her squeak again, and when he slows down, sucking a hickey into the skin between there and her pussy, she groans and bucks her hips.

"Ready to beg yet?"

"Not yet," Bobbi says. She pets the back of Getzy's head with one hand; she has the other fisted in the sheets. 

"Oh yeah?" Getzy climbs off the bed and gets on his knees. "Here, move like this." He heaves her around so he can put her legs over his shoulders. Bobbi grabs a pillow to put behind her so she can see him a little better.

He raises his eyebrows at her over the rise of her stomach. "How's that?"

Bobbi locks her ankles behind his back. "Pretty good."

"Gonna say please yet?" he asks with a grin.

"I told you – make me!"

Getzy bows his head and licks into her. It feels pretty awesome, but Bobbi steels herself and says, "Come on, you can do better than that," because she's pretty sure he can.

And, oh, wow, he does. Bobbi loses track of what exactly he's doing, but apparently he just needed a little – oh, fuck – encouragement. "Getzy, oh my –"

His face is all shiny when he looks up at her and says, "How about now?"

She tenses her thighs and says, "I'm going to crush your _head._ "

"What's the magic word?"

Bobbi thinks she might actually explode if she doesn't come soon. "Fine, _please_ , Getzy, you fucking arrogant –"

He cuts her off with a slippery kiss. "Do you have condoms?"

"Yeah, in the –" She waves towards her nightstand with the hand not between her legs. 

Getzy gets the condom on impressively fast, and then _finally_ he's inside of her. "See? When you're polite, nice things – ow!"

"Be nice to me when my hands are in – oh – sensitive places," Bobbi says, mostly smugly.

Getzy snaps his hips, and Bobbi muffles her moan in the curve of his neck. "God, _Bobbi,_ " he says. She thinks she could really get to like that sound.

***

When they're all fucked out and exhausted, Bobbi curled up and Getzy sprawled out, Getzy stretches elaborately and says, "I'm hungry."

"Oh yeah?" Bobbi says. If he thinks she's going to move...

But no, he's grabbing the bowl from her desk. "Banana?" he offers, raising his eyebrows, so he _definitely_ deserves it when she pinches his ass.


End file.
